


wildflowers

by tinytonysnark



Series: the laugh track series [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Office, Dorks in Love, Fluff, Getting Together, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 05:56:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19387888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinytonysnark/pseuds/tinytonysnark
Summary: “So,” Steve begins, clapping his hands together, “the city of SHIELD is in debt. The big ups have sent for financial advisors, all the way from DC! They’re gonna take a look at the city’s spending and make some cuts.”He squints at the camera against the morning sun shining through the courtyard, “I’m not that worried. Everyone here in the parks department is an important member of the team and absolutely needed.”The camera swings towards the office where from the large glass window, Natasha can be seen picking up the ringing phone before immediately slamming it back down onto the receiver.[A Parks and Rec AU]





	wildflowers

**Author's Note:**

> rollerblades in one month later with shades on and an iced latte in hand
> 
> ~government doesn’t really work like this but shhhh, just go with it and enjoy 10k worth of scmoop~

“So,” Steve begins, clapping his hands together, “the city of SHIELD is in debt. The big ups have sent for financial advisors, all the way from DC! They’re gonna take a look at the city’s spending and make some cuts.”

He squints at the camera against the morning sun shining through the courtyard, “I’m not that worried. Everyone here in the parks department is an important member of the team and absolutely needed.”

The camera swings towards the office where from the large glass window, Natasha can be seen picking up the ringing phone before immediately slamming it back down onto the receiver.

“The camera turns back to Steve. “Yeah,” he says with a pinched smile, “it’s all gonna be fine.”

* * *

“You’re a jerk,” Steve says to Tony, the financial advisor.

Tony stops his line of questioning, brows going up. “Excuse me?”

“These are real people in a real town, working in a real building, with real feelings,” Steve says, voice steadily rising.

“This building…has feelings?” is what Tony replies with.

Steve shrugs. “Maybe! There's a lot of history in this one! I just- you can’t just waltz in here and-“

“Actually Mr. Rogers, I can just waltz in here,” Tony says cutting him off, “Because I was asked to waltz in here and fix the mess your town created.”

He stands, gathering all the papers he had pulled out from his folder that was tabbed PARKS. “I’ll get what I need from the spreadsheets,” he says before walking out of the conference room.

The camera focuses on Steve’s look of disbelief and Fury’s delighted face, his eyepatch pulling a little from where his eyes are crinkling.

“Do you think that man will let me adopt him?” Fury asks, completely serious.

* * *

“Okay,” says Rhodes, “we’ve gathered all the department heads together just to keep you in the loop of the state of your budget.”

“Spoiler alert, it’s not great,” says Tony.

The camera zooms in on Fury trying not to smile.

“Our investigation has shown us that things here in SHIELD are far worse than we were led to believe,” Rhodes says before gesturing at Tony to continue.

“Due to this, every department will be facing budget cuts up of at least 20% and effective immediately any projects in the works will be scrapped or put on hold until further notice.”

Fury takes out a ziplock bag from his pocket that’s filled with popcorn and starts eating.

Rhodes only glances at him a moment, lips twitching just slightly, before moving on. “One of the most effective ways of reducing department costs is getting rid of non-essential personnel as well as identifying where there is unnecessary spending and of course ceasing all new projects.”

“After reviewing all your departments closely these last 5 days, James and I have come up with plans for each of your departments on where to make these slashes,” Tony says as Rhodes hands out a file to every department head. “We know that it seems harsh, but it is necessary to keep your town afloat. If you have any comments to make about our master plan, you can schedule a meeting with James and I,” Tony says before he and Rhodes leave.

The department heads file out of the conference room not too long after, murmuring to each other about the new developments.

The camera focuses on Fury’s face, his brows drawing together as he reads through the new Parks department budget plan, the popcorn baggie abandoned at his feet.

* * *

“Firing Steve Rogers is the most idiotic idea either of you will ever have in your miserable lives,” is the first thing Fury says before he's even through the door of Tony and Rhodes’ office, which so far consists of two desks in the middle of the room set up facing each other which have stacks of folders all over them and loose papers strewn about. There's a solitary phone in the middle of their desks. The rest of the room is empty save for one book on the bookshelf by the door titled ‘SHIELD’S LAW AND RULZ.’

Tony looks up from where he's hunched over his desk, scribbling away over numbers but a calculator is nowhere in sight and neither is Rhodes.

Tony raises an eyebrow at Fury, “I actually expected Rogers to be the one barging in here. He’s scheduled 11 meetings with us since we arrived, _five days ago._ ”

“That absolutely does not surprise me,” Fury says, sitting down on the plastic chair beside Tony’s desk. One of the legs is uneven to the rest, causing the chair to wobble. “The kid hates bureaucracy but he’s passionate about what he does here.”

Tony looks Fury with narrowed eyes, pointing his pen at him accusingly, “You don’t care about government at all as far as I can tell, so what you're doing here is a mystery to me. Why do you even care?”

Fury snorts. “Son, it is because I don’t give a [bleep] about what we do here that I can’t let you fire Rogers. You can’t afford to lose a Steve Rogers.”

“I don’t think you understand how bad SHIELD’s debt is. You literally can’t afford to keep him. He makes the highest salary in your department, second to you.”

Fury leans forward in his chair, “Then fire me instead.”

Tony drops the pen onto his desk and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I really need a cup of coffee to get through this conversation right now,” he sighs. “Look, I can’t fire you either. Your rigidity over expenses shows the balance you bring to your department, especially over Rogers’ many many proposals over the years.”

He points towards a door behind Rhodes’ desk. “That room there? That’s where all the files from all the departments are kept, filled with expenditures from the last 5 years as well as proposed projects. There are 7 entire boxes stacked with files from your department alone, with Rogers as the head of every proposal we’ve read through so far.”

“In comparison,” he continues, “there’s only 1 box that’s not even fully filled for actual projects that were carried out. So no, you will not be fired.”

Fury looks at Tony for a solid minute, and Tony’s hands start to fidget around the 20 second mark but his eyes never waver from Fury’s. “Alright,” Fury says, standing up, “get off your ass, we’re gonna go get a drink.”

Tony blanches, but stands nonetheless. “It’s 11AM.”

“Yes it is,” Fury says, already walking out the door and not looking behind to see if Tony is following him.

* * *

The camera focuses on a sign proclaiming “Lee’s Diner” but the apostrophe has come loose and is hanging upside down. Fury and Tony enter, sliding into a booth a few spaces from the door.

“Alright kid, this place right here has got the best cup of coffee in town as well as the best damn breakfast,” Fury tells Tony.

An elderly man wearing an apron comes over, notepad in hand. “Hey Nick, you want your usual?” he asks Fury before noticing Tony and directing a warm smile at him. “You must be one of the suits from DC since I ain’t ever seen you here before, and I see everybody. Nice to meet ya, I’m Stan,” he says holding his hand out to Tony for a shake. “I take it your Tony,” Stan continues before Tony can introduce himself, though there doesn’t seem to be a need.

Tony’s eyebrows go up. “Exactly how fast does word get around in this town?” he asks, looking between Fury and Stan. 

Stan just laughs, “Don’t you worry son, you’re not town gossip just yet but I do know all about you since Steve’s been coming in almost every day this last week to eat me out of my waffles and to complain, _loudly_ , at Sam. I’ll go get you your orders,” he says before walking off.

“We never actually ordered anything,” Tony says watching the man enter the kitchens.

Fury waves him off. “Don’t need to. Stan knows,” is all he says.

“Alright listen,” Tony begins when Fury offers nothing else, clasping his hands together on the table, “at the end of the day Rhodey and I are just here to give financial advice. We don’t actually have the jurisdiction to fire anyone, we’re not state auditors. We’re just providing your government with the best solutions.”

“Firing Rogers will never be any form of solution.”

Tony just huffs, “Every department is losing a Steve Rogers.”

“No other department _has_ a Steve Rogers,” Fury says, looking at him steadily.

They stare at each other for a whole minute before Tony says, “Fine, don’t fire him! But at the end of the day you might have to make tougher cuts and don’t blame me for that.” 

Stan comes out of the kitchen then, 4 plates on his service tray and a carafe filled with coffee. He places the coffee as well as a plate of blueberry pancakes in front of Tony and puts 3 plates filled with bacon and eggs in front of Fury before taking his leave.

“You’re way too in shape to be eating like that man,” Tony says, eyeing Fury’s plates. He glances down at his own plate and blinks. “How did he know I like blueberries?” 

Fury takes a bite from his piece of bacon, “Stan always knows.”

Tony’s eye twitches.

* * *

“Hello, Mr. Rogers,” Tony greets Steve in the corridor, “How are things in the neighborhood?”

“It’d be happy if maybe you weren’t trying to put people out of jobs,” Steve replies, frown on his face.

“As I’ve mentioned before Mr. Rogers,” Tony sighs, “I’m here to fix your town’s budget. A mess of which your own government is to blame for. I’m not the bad guy here.”

“Maybe so, but there are other ways to fix the town budget without laying people off so callously,” Steve says, just as incensed as every other time he has argued with Tony over the topic for the last 5 days.

“Well, when you figure out how to do that, why don’t you let me know so we can all go plant flowers in the parks and read to the woodland creatures,” Tony says, voice mocking before starting to walk off.

Steve moves to follow him in the same direction and Tony starts walking faster, “Wha- go the other way!”

“But I wa- I-“ Steve begins before he justs turns around and heads back in the direction he came from.

* * *

The door of Tony and Rhodes’ office opens with a bang, hitting the wall loudly as Steve enters, shouting excitedly, “I’ve got it! I’ve figured it out!

Rhodes jumps up, coffee sloshing from his mug onto his hand and to the floor, “What the [bleep] dude!”

Tony flinches just slightly, leaning back in his chair but his voice is calm when he asks, “Does no one in your department respect doors or just see them as hurdles that must be defeated by splintering them?”

Steve goes pink but he has a smug smile on his face, advancing to Tony’s desk, “You said to let you know and I’m here to let you know that you better get your gardening supplies and to pick a book to read to the all the animals!” He stops and his brow furrows. “Don’t read little red riding hood though cause the raccoons will get ideas and this town can’t survive that. Not for a second time.”

“It’s been a long day so if it’s not too much could you maybe put all those words in a sentence that makes sense,” Rhodes says, looking between Tony and Steve.

Steve turns, a sheepish smile on his face as he stretches out his hand, “Apologies Mr. Rhodes, I just uh, got a little excited and wanted to pitch an idea.”

Rhodes shakes his hand with his left, the right still holding his coffee mug, before dropping back down onto his seat, “You can lose the formalities man, as of 10 minutes ago we’re all of the clock so it’s James. Everyone calls me that except for that little twerp over there”

“Exc- _little_?”

“James is my best friend’s name too but he doesn’t respond to it. It’s nice to finally meet you, I-”

“Oh, I know who you are Rogers,” Rhodes cuts in, grin on his face and a quick glance at Tony. “Nice to officially meet you too.”

Pink dusts Tony’s cheeks, and he clears his throat, “So Rogers, what’s this idea you have that’s lead to the demolition of our door?”

“Uh, I’ll fix that if needed,” he says, clasping his hands together in front of him. “But anyway, the harvest festival!”

“A harvest festival?” Tony says, an eyebrow arched. “What year is this town in? Do you also pray to the great pumpkin? Ritual sacrifice for bountiful crops?”

A ball of paper goes flying at his head, Rhodes narrowing his eyes at him, “Tones, knock it off.”

He makes a go on gesture at Steve who shoots him a grateful look. “The harvest festival was an annual SHIELD celebration. It brought people in from all over and it’s a great way to get some money for the city. More than 50 percent of the businesses in SHIELD are local so the festival is a great way to showcase, uplift and provide income! It was scrapped two governments ago when the city was going through budget cuts.”

Tony looks at him quizzically. “And you want to throw this festival now? When we’re literally here to bring about more budget cuts? What the [bleep] are you not getting about our jobs here?”

“Hey, will you at least think about it instead of immediately shooting it down!” Steve says, voice rising. “You’re not even going to give me a chance to save this city? Or people’s jobs? Are you that heartless?”

“Okay,” Rhodes cuts in, the atmosphere in the room doing a complete 180. Tony doesn’t move, eyes unblinking.

“Mr. Rogers,” Rhodes says, voice polite but eyes cold, “if you wish to talk further about your idea, please schedule an appointment in the near future, _with me_. Until then, please leave.”

Steve stares at Rhodes, shoulders practically up to his ears, before turning on his heel and stomping out.

The camera turns away from Steve’s retreating figure to focus on Rhodes moving over to Tony who still hasn’t moved. He takes the smaller man’s hands in his, going to his knees in front of him so that they’re at eye level, “So, I can see why you said you wanted to punch him in his perfect teeth.”

Tony’s gives him a minuscule smile. “Your hand is sticky.”

* * *

“He just- he makes me so- ugh,” Steve stabs a piece of his waffle a little to viciously, bring it to his mouth. “Ifp owhn-“

“Man, what have I said about ranting with your mouth full? Shut up and chew,” Sam says, taking a sip of his tea.

They’re in Lee’s diner, sitting at the booth near the jukebox that seems to only play What’s New Pussycat. Stan comes out of the kitchen, bringing a fresh plate of waffles to their table before going over to a family sitting sitting near the windows, greeting them warmly.

Steve grabs the bottle of maple syrup on the table and shakes it, “My idea was good! And he shot it down! Just like that!” He pours a torrent of syrup onto his waffles. “He wants this town to fail. He wants to ruin us,” he says, venom in his voice.

Sam looks at Steve’s drowned waffles in disgust, “How you don’t have diabetes yet is a mystery to me. Alright, so you went barging in there, after office hours, all gung ho about the harvest festival and he said absolutely no way was it going to happen?”

Steve nods, cutting up his waffles into bite sized pieces. “Yeah well, he didn’t exactly say no way but he brought up the fact that he’s here to cut the budget like I was stupid to not know what their job is a-“ 

“He called you stupid? To your face?” Sam laughs. “Oh my god please let me be the one to tell this to Bucky!” 

“I know you guys are always talking shit about me at home,” Steve says, pointing his fork that has a waffle piece on it accusingly at Sam, maple syrup dripping onto the table. “And no, he didn’t exactly call me stupid but it was insinuated when he asked if I knew what the [bleep] his job is. Ugh, [bleep]. He thrives on crushing dreams and sucking the joy out of the townspeople.”

Sam takes a sip of his tea. “But did he actually say no? After your did your presentation?”

Steve stops chewing and a tiny speck of waffle goes flying onto the table when he asks, “What presentation?”

“Dude! Your ma raised you to swallow your food! And what do you mean what presentation? Steve you love printing out pie charts and bar graphs and details!” Sam’s eyes and voice are filled with disbelief. “Steve, are you trying to tell me that when you said you barged into Tony’s office, you really didn’t prepare a proper and detailed proposal for the harvest fest?”

Steve’s eyes are wide, soaked through waffles forgotten on his plate. “I didn’t- I ju- I was just excited- in the hall he was so condescending and then I went to my thinking place and then it came to me and I just had to rub it in you know he- he thinks it can’t be done and he- he’s just so-”

“You know,” Sam says, cutting of Steve’s stumbling sentence. “I’ve been hearing an awful lot about this Tony and I still haven’t met him but from the way you’ve been behaving since he rolled into town, I’m just gonna go out on a hunch and assume you think he’s hot.”

Steve sputters, cheeks going red. “I do not! He’s just aggravating! I’m aggravated! It has absolutely nothing-“

Sam puts a hand up, stopping Steve from going further, grin on his face. “Steve, shut up man. I’ve seen you get like this only once, and that was with Peggy. You ain’t foolin me and when I tell Bucky all about this he’s just gonna agree with me.”

“He always agrees with you,” Steve says mulishly. “It doesn’t matter if I think Tony is attractive anyway. He’s just here until the budget is fixed then he’s gone. Nothing’s gonna happen and I don’t even want it to.”

Sam opens his mouth to say something but Steve continues, “No Sam, I’m serious yeah he might have an ass I could bounce a quarter off but he’s still a conceited arrogant prick that’s trying to put people outta jobs and he doesn’t even care.”

“You should bang him,” Sam says. “Maybe some hate sex will loosen the both of you up and you won’t be at each other’s throats, huh?”

Steve snorts. “I don’t think I’m even gonna be allowed near him anymore. His partner was there too and basically kicked me out after I called him heartless.”

Sam gapes at him. “You called him _what_? What the [bleep] Steve? This guy could fire you! Apologize!”

“He can’t actually fire me! He doesn’t have the authority.”

Sam glares at him. “I do not give two flying [bleep]. You went crashing into his _office_ and you called him heartless for doing his _job_. Apologize to him or I’m gonna get Bucky to knock some sense into your skull.”

“The both of you getting together is the worst thing that’s happened to me.”

Sam huffs, taking a sip of his tea. “It doesn’t even come close.” He frowns at his mug. “It’s gone cold and I blame you.”

* * *

People have been coming and going through Tony and Rhodes’ office all morning.

Steve Rogers had made an appointment at 11.30am, all with the intention to pitch the harvest festival, folder marked with many coloured tabs and a board filled with graphs in hand. It is currently 11.27am.

[Shot of the camera in the bathroom, catching Steve standing in front of the mirror, hands on his hips and smiling awkwardly at himself. “Well, I think it’s time we harvest the rewards,” he says and shoots finger guns.

His face scrunches, “jesus christ, _no_.”

He takes a deep breath, standing up straight, shoulders back. “Okay, I want to start with an apology. Mr. Carbonell I had no right to say what I said to you and I hope you can forgive me. I got too caught up in my idea, bringing the harvest festiv-“

Someone enters the bathroom, and Steve dashes to the tissue dispenser, pulling the roll too hard. The man looks at a flustered Steve, holding a handful of tissue in his palm, looks right into the camera lens and then walks out.]

At 11.30am Steve walks in. Tony is not in the office, and Steve who had opened his mouth to begin his speech, shuts it so fast the camera picks up the sound of his teeth clicking together.

He gathers himself rather quickly, looking toward Rhodes and going over to shake his hand.

“Mr. Rhodes. Good morning. I was hoping to be presenting my idea to the both of you today,” he says, inclining his head towards Tony’s empty desk chair.

“As I mentioned before,” Rhodes says, “your meetings regarding your department will be handled by me. Mr. Carbonell has other pressing matters to attend to. You may begin your presentation.”

Steve frowns but after casting another glance at Tony’s desk, he hands over his folder to Rhodes and begins.

* * *

The entire parks department is on the chopping block if the harvest festival fails, a collateral damage offer that was given not by Rhodes but Steve.

“It’ll suck if we lose the parks department for sure but I’m not actually worried Steve is going to fail,” Clint tells the camera. “I mean, it’s _Steve_. But even if he does, I’ll be fine. I’m like a bird ya know, I always find my ground,” he says, grin on his face.

* * *

It has been nearly two weeks since Steve met with Rhodes.

In between preparing for the harvest fest, Steve spends the remainder of his time waiting outside the doors of Tony and Rhodes’ office.

Tony is often not around, dealing with the figurative fires - and once a very literal fire in the cafeteria due to an incident with a duck and a raccoon- from the other various departments struggling through the slashes in their budgets.

Whenever Tony _is_ in his office, Rhodes is often there with him and whenever either of them see him hovering by the door, it is always Rhodes who greets and sees to him. Tony then either goes to the back room adjoined with their office or simply leaves altogether without so much as a nod in Steve’s direction.

Currently, Steve is hiding behind the potted plant in the hall a few feet away from their office. His blonde hair and broad shoulders are sticking out very visibly.

Rhodes steps out into the hallway, on his way to the meeting with the City Planning Department, information that has been awarded because Steve had called specifically to ask whether Rhodes would be available at this time and was told no, he would not to which Steve then asked if Tony would be around and was told yes, he would be.

Steve comes out from behind the plant and knocks on the door.

Tony looks up from the papers strewn about his desk, his glasses sliding a little down his nose before he pushes them back up with his index finger. “Uhm, Rho- Mr. Rhodes isn’t here right now,” voice clear of any emotion. “You’ll have to come back later if you want to talk to him.”

Steve steps inside, “I actually want to talk to you if that’s alright.”

“I’m a little busy right now and I don’t really handle much of your department’s business anymore s-“

“I promise I won’t take too much of your time and this doesn’t really have anything to do with department matters,” Steve cuts in, hovering by the edge of Tony’s desk.

Tony seems to be weighing his options of asking Steve to just leave or straight bolting out of his office himself before his face becomes unreadable and makes a go on gesture. 

Steve takes a seat on the uneven chair, “I’d like to apologize. I had no right, absolutely none, to say what I said to you. You’re just doing your job, I understand that. But I’m also trying to help this city any way I can and I while I definitely should have handled it better, I do think the harvest festival is going to help. Still, I’m sorry I called you heartless. You’re not heartless,” he finishes and seems to finally breathe in.

“You don’t know that. I could very well be what you’ve accused me of,” Tony says.

Steve shakes his head, a small smile on his lips. “Nah, I know you’re not. For one, you’re still here, helping out all the departments over minuscule things even though you and Rhodes have completed everything you came here to do a week ago.”

“Rhodey wanted to stick around, I had no say in the matter,” Tony replies immediately but his cheeks go pink.

“I know it’s you who’s looking over all the updates and numbers on the harvest fest and not Rhodes.”

Tony gapes at him and Steve shrugs, “There’s a difference in the words and the approach the both of you have. He might be saying them, but they’re all your words.”

“I’m a financial advisor. I was advising,” Tony says, cheeks getting pinker.

“You have heart Tony, a lot of it. I’m sorry for saying otherwise.”

“You don’t even know me, Rogers. Stop acting like you do just because you’ve happened to see me do my [bleep] job,” Tony says.

Steve doesn’t seem fazed by the harshness of Tony’s words. “I believe what I believe and I know what I know.”

He extends his hand, a hopeful look on his face, “Friends?”

Tony stares down at Steve’s hand for 20 seconds before grasping it in his.

“Friends,” he says, returning Steve’s beaming smile with a small, but real one of his own.

* * *

“I absolutely hate you,” Tony pants, glaring up at Steve.

Steve stretches out his hand to Tony, grinning down at him. “Up, lazybones! We’re trying to reach the top before sunrise not sunset.”

Tony takes Steve’s hand and lets the man pull him up. Steve must use too much force, or Tony might be lighter than he looks because it brings their bodies so close together a piece of paper couldn’t fit between them.

They both freeze, eyes comically wide before springing apart, their clasped not letting the other get too far.

Steve’s face goes red, his pale skin not aiding in his predicament despite the dim light of twilight.

Tony doesn’t fare much better but he drops Steve’s hand and turns away hastily, resuming their trek. “Come on, Rogers! What were you just sassing at me? Sunrise not sunset!”

Steve huffs, face still red but catches up to Tony fairly easily.

They make it to the top of Eagle Hill at 5.16am, exactly 11 minutes before the sun is set to come up over the town they are now overlooking.

The sky is steadily getting lighter, taking on a pinkish orange hue. Tony and Steve settle down on a boulder, taking sips from their water bottles.

“I’m not much for nature or the big outdoors,” Tony says, looking at the view, “but this is really something Steve. Thanks for wanting me to tag along.”

Steve pulls out 2 granola bars from somewhere, offers one to Tony who takes it readily and then one to the camera. Tony splits the bar with Steve.

“Yeah, all your whining about having to do exercise, but it’s worth it, right? Hard pressed to get a view like this out in DC.”

Tony only huffs, mouth full of chocolate chip granola.

The sun is starting to rise up, higher and higher in the sky. “It really is beautiful up here,” Tony says, eyes closed, enjoying the warmth of the rays hitting the top of the hill and bathing them in a golden glow.

“Yeah, beautiful,” Steve says, not looking at the sunrise.

* * *

James “Bucky” Barnes is lounging in the chair of Steve’s office, spinning around in the seat absentmindedly when Fury walks in.

“Barnes, where the hell is Rogers? The phone has been ringing insistently about this whole Healthcare Department fiasco,” he says, crossing his arms, the sleeves of his leather trench coat making a crunching sound.

“I’ve no idea where Stevie is,” Bucky says, still spinning. “We were supposed to have lunch today but that was 20 minutes ago and he ain’t answering his phone.”

Fury snorts. “Typical. Lord, I might actually have to do some work around here now that a certain someone has all his attention. Here I thought that budget cuts meant less work,” he says rolling his eye.

Bucky only grins at him. “Lay off, it’s a good thing. Haven’t seen Steve interested in anything but this damn job in years. It’s about time.”

“Yeah, but now I gotta pay for it,” he turns to walk back towards his own office but pauses. “Barnes, your boyfriend is in healthcare right?”

Bucky stops spinning in his seat. “You lookin for a therapist?”

“A Public Relations director actually. Spot just opened up. Tell him to call,” Fury says before heading back to his own office.

Bucky pulls out his phone and dials a number with a grin on his face. “Babe, you know how you said you were getting bored with your free time?

* * *

“Mr. Carbonell, I see your without your usual limpet today,” Fury says when he spots Tony sitting at the booth in Lee’s.

“Rhodey is off talking to your Chief of Police. I think he likes her,” he says before taking a sip of his coffee.

“Yes, well I was actually referring to Rogers,” Fury says and then tries not to grin when Tony chokes on his drink.

“Steve isn’t- we’re not- limpets,” Tony falters, his italian colouring doing little to hide the pink in his face. 

Fury takes a seat across from him and puts up his hand. “Save it. I’m just here to eat.”

Stan comes out of the kitchen just then and places Fury’s usual, fills up Tony’s coffee mug before heading off to another customer.

And thus begins Tony and Fury’s ritual every Friday for breakfast at Stan’s.

* * *

“Who broke it?” Fury asks the office, all of whom are gathered around the broken remains of a coffee maker. It is smashed almost beyond recognition.

“I’m not mad,” he says, hands on his hips. “I just want to know who broke it.” He fixes them all with a look that is trying to convey _“I-ain’t-playin-with-y’all’_ but so far not one seems to be breaking.

After two solid minutes of silence, Steve starts fidgeting then says, “I did it. I’ll replace it.”

“Nope, we all know it wasn’t you Rogers. You don’t even drink coffee,” Natasha says.

“Interesting that you’d immediately shoot down his confession Nat,” Clint says. “You not letting someone else take your blame?”

“Why are you so eager to accept his confession at face value Clint? Trying to pass the blame?” Bruce accuses, eyes narrowed behind his glasses.

“Guys, this is ridiculous. I broke it, I’ll pay for it,” Steve tried again.

The whole office with the exception of Clint shout, “No!” while the latter shouts, “See it was him!”

“If it matters, Thor was the last one to use it,” Natasha adds.

“Are you accusing me?” Thor says, eyes wide.

“You have smashed coffee mugs on the ground before!”

“I was young and naive and new in town!” Thor shouts.

“It was 6 months ago,” Bruce says.

Thor gives him a wounded look. “Et tu, Bruce?”

“So, it was Thor?” Steve asks.

“It was not me! I would not smash my primary source of life,” Thor says. He pauses then adds, “Bruce being an outlier to this rule.”

Bruce’s entire face goes red and he makes an aborted motion like he wants to flee. No one else in the office even blinks.

“It was one of you,” Clint says.

“And why are you exempt from this Barton? As an absolute disaster of a person, it’s highly likely you broke it,” Natasha says.

“Ah ha! How did you know it was broken,” Clint points an accusing finger at her.

Everyone stops to look at him, then looks down at the smashed coffee maker before erupting into noise, mostly calling Clint a moron.

[Shot of Fury in his office, watching the chaos from behind his desk. “It was me. It burned my hand so retaliation was swift. They’ll be at each other’s throats soon.”

He smiles at the camera. “It was getting too chummy in here.”

Steve can be seen bringing the number back to zero on the “ _Days Since An Incident”_ whiteboard.]

* * *

The harvest festival is set to happen three days for now.

Steve seems to be panicking but is trying very hard not to let it show. He’s failing rather spectacularly at that.

He’s currently pacing up and down the floors of Tony’s office. “One of the vendors pulled out at the last minute. Oh god, what if it starts a chain reaction and slowly but surely all of the others start to pull out and then there’ll be no booths at the festival which wouldn’t even make it a festival! It’ll just be a bunch of people standing around on the grass, going hungry and restless and then they’ll start a mob and call for my head on a spike and then-“

Tony walks right up to him and takes his face in his hands. Steve seems to stop breathing altogether at this.

“Steve, take a deep breath,” Tony says. “This is unusual for me, I’m usually the one that works himself up to a panic attack but it’s okay, I can be your Rhodey right now.”

Steve’s brow crinkles but he takes steadying breaths and doesn’t look away from Tony’s face.

Tony smiles up at him. “There you go, deep breaths. Steve listen to me. Just because one vendor pulled out doesn’t mean everyone else is going to. I’m sure there’s already someone who’s called that’d be happy to take their place. It’s all going to be fine.”

Tony takes his hands off of Steve’s face and clenches them by his side.

“Thank you, Tony. I really- I appreciate all you’re doing for me,” Steve says, voice a lot calmer now than it was mere seconds ago. “I just really need this to go off without a hitch ya know. Our entire department is riding on this.”

“I know, Steve. Trust me, it’ll work out.”

“I do trust you.”

* * *

In the evening, the day before the harvest festival, it starts raining and it doesn’t stop raining well into the night.

In the morning, when the skies are clear and the sun is shining, the grounds where the festival is being held is muddy. The booths and stage that were set up two days prior hold steady but anyone who is doing any walking today is going to get dirt splattered all over them.

Tony finds this out when he begins pacing.

The parks team had arrived at 5.30AM, the sun having just risen with the two financial advisors arriving ten minutes after.

“Oh my god, oh my god, it’s ruined! No one’s gonna show,” Tony had said the moment he stepped out of the car.

Then he had begun pacing, and got mud all over his sneakers and the hem of his jeans for his efforts. “Of course this happens today. No one will come because no parent is going to want their child trekking dirt and so no income is going to be made and the whole department is going to be fired and then it’ll be true Rhodey,” he continues turning to Rhodes who’s leaning against the car and taking in his surroundings.

Tony doesn’t seem aware that the parks team is going about the grounds and setting up without an issue.

Clint, Natasha and Bruce are by the wayside where a dip in ground has caused a pool of mud to form. They’re taping around the area and are arguing over something, Bruce pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Rhodey,” Tony says, voice above a whisper, “they’re all going to lose their jobs. It’ll be true what he said. I’m heartless.”

Tony seems on the verge of tears but before Rhodes can so much as move to comfort his friend, Steve is suddenly in front of him.

In a role reversal of their positions a mere three days ago, Steve takes Tony’s face in his hands and tells him, “Tones, no one is losing their jobs. We’ve got this handled. I promise the residents of this city will not let something like a little mud stop them from having their fun. You’re not heartless, you never have been. And I’m sorry for _ever_ making you think otherwise.”

Tony swipes at his eyes roughly, “I’m sorry, I just, I looked over the numbers and this really could help the town so much. Yeah, yeah you can save your _I told you so_ but I never factored in the goddamn weather and now everything seems ruined-“

“Like I said, nothing is ruined. Look over there huh,” Steve points over to where Natasha, Clint and Bruce are.

Bruce is walking around the mud pit with a tape measure while Natasha and Clint seem to be making the pit deeper and removing any rocks. Natasha has gloves on and somehow barely a speck of dirt on her. Clint is barehanded and there’s mud up to his forearms.

“They’re making an improvised mud pool,” Steve explains with a grin.

Fury has already kickstarted the grills and is preparing all the meat along with Stan and his workers who are generously sponsoring the main meal of cheeseburgers. Rhodes had gone over to help them.

“We’re adaptable here.” Steve smiles when he sees a Beetle car pull up right beside Rhodes and Tony’s hybrid.

Sam and Bucky step out, and make their way over to them. “Hiya punk,” Bucky greets before looking Tony up and down.

He snorts when he sees the state of Tony’s sneakers. “You don’t got the weather app on your phone sweet thing?”

“ _What_ did you just call me?”

“Ignore this moron, he has no brain to mouth filter gorgeous,” Sam says with a grin. “I’m Sam and this is Bucket.”

“I told ya to quit that,” Bucky chuffs Sam on the back of his head with his metal prosthetic.

Steve has his gaze directed heavenward, sighing, “Tony, these two morons are my best friends and biggest mistakes of my life, Sam and Bucky.”

“Oh, hi. I’m-“

“Oh, we know who you are doll face,” Bucky interrupts, eyes filled with mirth.

“Yeah, we know _all_ about you Tony,” Sam continues. “In fact, I may be billing you my hourly rates for all the sessions Steve here has-“

“Okay!” Steve cuts him off, hands clapping together in front of him loudly, “can you both be useful maybe and help out with the stage? Thank you!”

They both grin at each other before saluting Steve, who rolls his eyes, and tell Tony they’ll catch up with him later before sauntering off hand in hand. 

“Your friends are kinda weird but I like them,” Tony says, smiling up at Steve. “What did Sam mean? Hourly rates?”

Steve’s cheeks go pink. “Uh, he’s a therapist. And as of recently the Head of PR for the Health Department if you can believe it.”

“Okay,” Tony drags out the word, “but why is he billing me?” 

“No clue,” Steve laughs awkwardly. “They’re weird, like you said. Oh look, people are coming!”

There are in fact cars pulling up and parking by the roadside, mostly all the vendors with their supplies to begin setting up. Everyone is wearing rain boots.

The police department also arrive, the officers who volunteered to provide security for the festival beginning to set up roadblocks and perimeters around the park.

When Rhodes sees The Chief, directing all her officers to their spots, he makes a beeline right for her.

Carol sees him coming and beams, the both of them immediately engaging in an animated conversation.

Clint, Natasha and Bruce have finished setting up the mud pool, quick work thanks to Thor’s help. It’s rather decent looking, like it had always been planned rather than a quick fix.

Thor has streaks of mud across his face and Bruce is swiping at him with a baby wipe. Thor has to crouch down so he and Bruce can be level with each other but from the wide smile on his face, he doesn’t find it a hardship at all.

Steve and Tony both separate to talk to all the different vendors and offer their help if needed.

The townspeople start arriving within half an hour and by noon, the park is filled with people. 

There are barely any hiccups except for a minor incident where a raccoon got into the mud pool, Natasha got her hands on some chinese throwing knives and proceeded to give a demonstration of extreme accuracy when some guy asked her what she was going to do with them and also when Fury kept flashing a piece of paper that said _“I can do what I want”_ to every cop he came into contact with for no apparent reason.

All in all, the harvest fest was a raging success.

* * *

“We have to head back to DC soon,” Rhodes tells Tony, tipping his head back and staring up at the ceiling. “We were only supposed to be here for, at most, 2 months and it’s been almost 3 now.”

“Hey, you’re the one who wanted to stick around honeybear,” Tony says, staring out the office window.

“Don’t remember you protesting much. In fact, I think you told me it was a great idea.”

“We needed to be here to see if the festival was a success. And it was,” Tony turns to look at Rhodes.

His hands start to fidget and he’s biting on his lower lip. “Do you- do we have to leave immediately? Are we being called back? Another assignment?”

Rhodes looks at him then, grin on his face. “Why? You getting attached to the town?”

Tony’s cheeks pink but he’s smiling at Rhodes, “Don’t think I haven’t noticed how cozy you and Ms. Danvers have become honeybear.”

Rhodes’ smile gets a little doppy just then, “Yeah, Carol’s great. Though I’m surprised you’ve even noticed considering the Steve haze you’ve been in since we got here.”

“Shut up, there’s no Steve haze! What even is that. Steve and I are friends and I’ll- I’ll miss him when we go, that’s all.”

Rhodes doesn’t say anything for awhile, tipping his head back against his chair once again. His eyes are closed when he says, “We don’t have to leave just yet. Maybe we can still stick around until we know for sure that the town won’t run into the ground again if we leave.”

Tony has a huge smile on his face and he hurries over to Rhodes side of the desk and sits in his lap, hugging him. “I know you’re doing this so you can woo Carol.”

Rhodes huffs a laugh, “ _Woo_? You’re even speaking like Rogers. And are you gonna _woo_ Steve in the meantime?”

Tony hides his face in Rhodes’ shoulder, voice muffled, “We’re friends! I don’t even know if he’s gay. And I doubt he’d want to go out with me if he were anyway.”

“You’re an absolute moron and quite possibly blind too.”

“Hey! I will have you-“

A knock on the door interrupts Tony’s rebuttal and not a second later Steve’s head pops in.

He takes in Tony’s position on Rhodes’ lap and his face turns an alarming shade of red. “Uh sorry! I should have- I’m- I just wanted to- lunch- but clearly your-bye” is what he manages to say before closing the door with a slam.

Tony gives Rhodes a confused look, “What the hell was that?”

Rhodes just shakes his head at him, “You really are a moron.”

* * *

“Hey! Bucky right?” Tony greets when he spots the man sitting by the duck pond of Eagleton Park.

“Hiya doll face,” Bucky smiles at him. “What’s a pretty thing like you doin in a place like this?”

“Does your boyfriend know you flirt with people like this? And also, how did you possibly get a boyfriend with lines like that?”

Bucky moves over on the bench and gestures for Tony to sit. “Sammy is an even worse flirt than I am. It’s a miracle we even got together at all, but that’s fate for ya.”

Tony has been subtly looking at Bucky’s metal arm since he sat down but not subtle enough because Bucky tells him, “You can go ahead and ask. I’m not shy about it much no more.”

“How did you and Sam meet?” is what Tony asks.

“Through Steve,” Bucky huffs. “Punk never lets us forget it too. We were in the military together.”

Surprise is clear on Tony’s face. “Steve was in the military?”

“He led his own team. I’m not surprised that he didn’t tell you. He tries not to bring it up. Anyway, I was part of his team and long story short a mission went wrong and I kinda went missing for awhile there. Got my arm blown off,” he says tapping on his prosthetic, “and that’s how I met Sam. He was a pararescue who Steve knew from training camp. He called in a favour.”

Bucky chuckles, “You know I was kinda delirious when Sam got me and according to him I asked ‘Does it hurt when you descend from heaven like that’ but he still went on a date with me so I guess my lines ain’t all too bad.”

There are tears in Tony’s eyes and he clears his throat before saying, “I’m really really sorry that happened to you Bucky. That should never have happened.”

Bucky shrugs, “I’ve had my time to deal with. Sam helps a lot. Stevie too. Plus I’ve got this kickass metal arm so it could be worse. Don’t cry over it gorgeous, I’m happy as I can be. Scouts honor.”

Tony swipes at his eyes, “You were never a boy scout in your life.”

“You got me there, doll face.” 

“So, how come you’re not working in the parks department with Steve? 

“I ain’t like Stevie. When I got my honourable discharge, Steve pretty much came with me since his contract was up and funny enough so was Sam’s. I didn’t want nothing to do bureaucracy and Steve honestly hates redtape more than Fury but he’s always liked doing good. The parks department is his way of doing good by this city without actually having to suffer too much politics.”

Bucky shoots a look at Tony, who seems to be processing all this information. “What about you? How’d you get into all this?”

Tony doesn’t answer for a while, both him and Bucky sitting in silence and watching the ducks float around the pond.

“That’s a Stark prosthetic, right?” he eventually asks.

“Yeah, I got into the trial program. Was real lucky. Senator Stark was even there to oversee it.”

Tony flinches at that. “Yeah, he’s a _Senator_ now. Well, I knew him as Dad growing up.”

The surprise is evident on Bucky's face but he schools his expression pretty quickly. “I thought your last name was Carbonell.”

“It is. My parents got divorced when I was like 12 and Howard’s main focus was still his company. I took my mama’s last name. I didn’t want anything to do with his company so I took a job working to help the government. Keeps me busy, doesn’t keep me in one place for too long and plus I’ve got Rhodeybear by my side.”

“It’s cute that your firm lets you both work together.”

“Why wouldn’t they?” Tony looks at Bucky quizzically, eyebrows arched.

Bucky arches an eyebrow back. “Is there no company policy about dating co-workers?”

“ _Dating_? My Rhodeybear is tragically straight, and as I’ve been told repeatedly, not interested in me because it would be like incest. Which, fair.”

“Oh. So you’re not together?” Bucky presses, brows furrowed.

“Yeah, no. He’s actually got the hots for a certain Chief of Police but you didn’t hear it from me,” Tony tells him, miming zipping his lips.

Bucky grins, “And who do you have the hots for?”

A dust of pink covers Tony cheek, “Stan from the diner. His blueberry pancakes are to die for.”

Bucky huffs a laugh. “You know, you’ve been surprisingly open and honest. I wasn’t expecting that.”

“I could say the same about you.”

“Eh,” Bucky shrugs. “I’ve hand enough time being moody and upset. Life’s too short for that sort of thing.”

“That’s some wise words, Bucky.”

“Maybe you should get out more if you think _that’s_ deep.”

* * *

Steve and Sam are sitting on a bench facing a mural on the fourth floor of the City Hall building.

The mural takes up the entire wall, depicting an entire meadow filled with wildflowers.

“You’re being dumb,” Sam says. “Just talk to him man. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Steve snorts. “Except the fact that I’d have to move to another state, change my name and possibly work at a job I despise?”

“You’re the most dramatic disaster bi I know, and I know Bucky,” Sam says taking a bite out of his lettuce wrap.

Steve snorts. “Doesn’t matter anyway. He’s probably gonna head back to DC soon. Maybe it’s for the best.”

“So what? You’re just gonna let him go without telling him how you feel?” Sam asks, disbelief in his voice. “Man up and just talk to him! It’s been nine days of you dodging him! Nope, don’t even try to deny it, Natasha and I talk.”

“You mean you have poker nights and don’t invite me,” Steve glares. “Yeah, I know all about your special invite game nights.”

“Don’t try to change the subject. I know that Bucky told you that Tony told him he’s not dating Rhodes so what the [bleep] is going on here.”

Steve sighs, takes a bite of his BLT and stares at the mural.

“Nothing is going on. Tony and I are friends, that’s it. And he’s gonna head back soon so nothing is ever gonna be going on. And that’s fine too, it’s not like I want to date him,” he eventually says, not looking at Sam.

“Yeah, why don’t you spiel that [bleep] to someone who’ll believe it. You like him, I know you do s-“

“You don’t know what you’re talking about Sam. Just leave it,” Steve snaps.

Sam stares at the side of Steve’s face then gets off the bench, “Yeah, I’ll leave.”

He throws the paper wrap from his lunch in the trash and walks out, leaving Steve to continue staring at the mural.

* * *

“Today is what all of us _believes_ is Natasha’s birthday,” Bruce tells the camera.

“No one can verify this for sure but Natasha hasn’t said anything to make us believe otherwise,” Thor says, standing next to Bruce.

They’re holding hands.

When Natasha walks into the office, everyone gathers around her and starts singing Happy Birthday, corralling her into the chair by the main desk.

Natasha looks right at the camera and mimes stabbing herself, but the corners of her mouth are edging upwards.

“I hate all of you for doing this,” she says when they finish and place a mini cupcake in front of her, a lighted candle sticking out.

“Shut up and make a wish Romanov,” Fury tells her.

She blows out the candle and Steve gives her a one armed hug, which she hastily returns before stepping away. “You love us, but most importantly, you love presents,” he says, handing her an unwrapped shoe sized white box that has a garish pink bow on it.

She opens it and pulls out a placard with the name “Natalie Rushman” on it.

Steve grins, “So anyone who comes in will never know your real name.”

“A top notch gift,” Natasha says, placing the placard on her desk.

Fury hands over a small grey case without any fanfare and Natasha opens it to reveal a gun.

“What the [bleep]?!” Bruce yells, scrambling out of his chair to stand behind Thor.

Steve pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs, “Why would you give _Natasha_ a gun?”

Fury shrugs, “It’s a practical gift.” He taps on his eyepatch, “It’s good to be prepared.”

Before anyone has the chance to follow _that_ line of questioning, he takes the case back from Natasha and closes it. “I’ll hold onto this until we get you your permit and then I’ll take you to the range for lessons.”

[Shot of Natasha at her desk, placard placed in front of her. “I already have a permit and have known how to shoot a gun for 14 years.”]

* * *

The Hydra Head is the hottest club in SHIELD,” Clint yells at the camera over the music. “Lucky for everyone, I’ve got an in with a sponsor here cause we’re buddies!”

A lean man with white hair comes up behind Clint and startles him. “What, you didn’t see that coming Hawkman?”

“That’s Hawkeye to you, Quickie!”

The other man ribs Clint in the side. “I’m Pietro and I’m a patron here at Hydra Head,” he tells the camera. “My sister and I created a special drink that’s only available here, so now we pretty much run this place.”

“Yeah, Natasha’s birthday is gonna be lit.” Clint scrunches his nose. “That’s what people say, right? It’s _lit_! Like that’s a thing. Anyway, the club is gonna be crowded because a bunch of people RSVP’d back that they’d be here which I’m not gonna lie, is a mystery because who even knew Natasha knows that many people.”

The club is starting to fill with people and the music is rattling the glasses on the bar. Everyone from the parks department has arrived, including Fury who is wearing a bejeweled eyepatch, when Natasha finally walks in.

She’s dressed in a black gown that has fur trimmings along the hem and sleeves complete with gloves and a veil.

“What the actual [bleep]?” Sam shouts when he sees her. “What this supposed to be a costume party because I didn’t get that memo!”

“You look lovely Natasha,” Bruce giggles, listing into Thor just a bit.

“I know not of this Natasha. My name is Natalie Rushman. I’m a very rich widow with a dark secret,” she says before grabbing Clint’s drink from his hands and downing it.

“Thanks for coming everyone,” she says, smiling at them before wandering off to a group of women by the bar, her gown swaying behind her.

“Alright, well let’s get wrecked!” Pietro shouts, passing out shot glasses of the clubs signature drink, aptly named Hydra Venom.

* * *

Everyone from the parks department is drunk and dancing on the dance floor. Including Fury, who is singing along to the Ariana Grande track currently playing.

Steve, Sam and Bucky are having an argument on the cushions, shoot glasses drained in front of them.

“No offense but I don’t recall you having a degree in _feelings_!” Steve points a finger at Sam.

Sam gasps, “Offense! Offense, that’s rude! I literally have a degree in feelings moron!”

“You’re being a bad friend, Stevie,” Bucky chimes in.

“The both of you are the ones ganging up on me! You guys are bad friends!”

“Yeah, well maybe I’m done being a good friend to someone who’s such a stubborn [bleep]!” Sam shouts before dragging Bucky off to the dance floor.

“Hey, so that seemed intense,” Tony says, sliding onto Sam and Bucky’s vacated cushion. “Are you okay?”

“No, no I’m not okay,” Steve says, grabbing two shots from a passing waitress. He hands one to Tony and downs the other.

“Hey, why are you still here?” Steve asks, squinting his eyes at the other man.

Hurt flashes across Tony’s features before his eyes go hard. His voice is like ice when he says, “You know what, I’m beginning to wonder that myself Rogers.” 

He drinks his shot before going over to where Bruce is dancing with Thor.

He says something to Bruce who then hugs him whilst glaring in Steve’s general direction and Thor joins in on the hug, nearly engulfing the two men.

[Cutaway scene of everyone inebriated and talking to the camera.

Steve, holding onto his drink with a pink umbrella sticking out of it, “I didn’t even say one thing and they attacked me, not one thing and then it was the whole thing-“

Clint who is holding onto a man wearing a suit whose tie is askew and hair wildly out of place, “My husband has finally decided to make his debut! Babe! Babe say hi to the camera!” The man looks at Clint fondly and kisses his temple. “I’m Phil,” he says.

Bruce is swaying heavily against Thor and he looks a little green in the face but he’s hissing, “I’m gonna smash Steve into tiny pieces! How can he hurt Tony who is so small and must be protected and- baby, babe,” he says turning to Thor, “you’ll help me smash Steve right? You’ll protect me?”

Thor nods at him, eyes bleary. “Yes, smashing? Who’s smashing? Are we gonna smash? Let’s go,” he says, pulling Bruce away to the exit.

Fury is smiling as he dances, the whisky in his cup sloshing as he goes. 

“I am like a falcon, okay,” Sam slurs, “like if I walk into a room, everyone's like _‘oh caw caw mother[bleep] there he is’_ ”

“Turn this movi-music down!” Bucky shouts then proceeds to belt the chorus to Nickleback’s Photograph.

Tony is gesticulating wildly and speaking in rapid fire Italian, _“Mi ignora per più di una settimana! Una settimana! E poi ha l'audacia di chiedermelo! Se mi odia così tanto, perché ha passato tutto quel tempo con me? Il bastardo mi ha fatto davvero pensare che forse lui-_ “

Natasha, who doesn’t at all seem affected by the alcohol she’s been consuming only says, “The night is going as planned.”]

* * *

Tony is lying face down on his desk when Steve comes into his office. He knocks on the door and Tony shoots up, piece of paper sticking to his forehead.

He snatches it away and puts his glasses on, cheeks pink when he spots Steve.

“Hey, do you mind if I come in?”

“Uh, sure,” Tony says, gesturing to his uneven plastic chair.

“So, I don’t think I’ve been more hungover in my life,” Steve says.

“Really? I ran a 5k this morning,” Tony deadpans.

“Oh really now? Decided you don’t completely hate exercise anymore?”

“No, my opinion is still valid and I threw up in my shower which felt like the equivalent of a 5k.”

Steve laughs then winces, groaning which causes Tony to huff in laughter.

“So, do you want to join me for breakfast at Lee’s? There’s nothing waffles can’t fix,” Steve says, hope clear in his voice.

“Uhm, actually I was going to get ahead on my packing,” Tony says.

Steve freezes in his seat, mouth open and staring at Tony. “You’re leaving?”

“Well, you seemed like you wanted me gone anyway so-“

“What? What the [bleep] gave you that idea?”

“You asked me what I was still doing here last night! And since you can’t wait for me to get out of town I thought I might as well get to it ASAP,” Tony says, voice rising causing Steve to wince.

“Rhodey is gonna stick around for a while. He’s using his vacation days so he can continue hanging out with Carol so it’ll just be me heading back.”

“Do you have any vacation days saved up?” Steve asks him.

All the fight seems to go out of Tony. “I could vacation for like a year at this point,” he says, standing to move the files on his desk to a box.

“You should take them,” Steve says. “Your time off.”

Tony turns and raises an eyebrow at Steve, who stands and walks towards him.

“When I asked you that last night,” he says, standing in front of Tony, “I was hoping that maybe you’d say _me_. That you were still here, because of me.”

Tony gapes up at Steve for a moment before pushing at his chest, rather ineffectively since Steve barely moves. “You idiot! Obviously I’ve been hanging around here for you! Everyone could see that! God, Bruce was ready to kill you last night when I told him that youph-“

Steve cuts him off by kissing him, backing Tony against the wall and kicking away the boxes by their feet.

One of the boxes tumbles over and papers go flying out.

Neither of them seem to care.

* * *

Fury and Tony are having breakfast at Lee’s diner. They’ve been eating in silence for the last 10 minutes but Fury breaks it by asking, “So, when are you going to tell everyone you’ve started sleeping with Steve?”

Tony chokes on his blueberry pancakes. “What?” he rasps out. “That’s disgusting, and wrong. I don’t even get why- you have the nerve- the audacity- I’ve never had sex with anyone anywhere- and that’s none of your busine- that would be a conflict of interest, technically and Steve is terrible, facewise- and how do I know that you’re not sleeping with him huh- maybe you’re trying to throw me off boom check and mate.”

Fury doesn’t dignify any of that with a response.

Tony sighs. “We’re not just sleeping together. We’re dating, technically.” He narrows his eyes at Fury, pointing his fork at him. “How did you find out?”

“I didn’t, but thank you for confirming my suspicions.”

**Author's Note:**

> this fic was supposed to go up like 2 weeks ago but then all the remaining serotonin i had in my brain decided to call it quits so here we are. 
> 
> if you read my office fic, i was trying to go for a different vibe with the way the humor and shots are played out (just like how I think that tho both shows are done in the camera crew documentary style there’s still a difference in how the jokes and story is delivered. i hope that makes sense and is sorta evident? 
> 
> Not Beta’d so all mistakes are mine! And the Italian is thanks to Google Translate
> 
> Please leave a comment or kudos if you liked it! 
> 
> If you wanna chat I’m tinysnark on Discord or tinytonysnark in tumblr :)


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